Marriage Zen

To a large degree, we marry and couple with someone who represents much of ourselves. To hate a mate as time goes on, is to really see what you think of yourself. Couples may or may not resemble each other in looks but inside the similarities are uncanny.

Marriage is two mirror images walking through life. One may be more evolved
than the other but similarities and values largely coincide even if they
show up differently. For example, the partner who cheats when the other
doesn’t, is really the outcome of both making decisions. The one who doesn’t
cheat has chosen not to communicate on all levels and, as a result creates a
partner who makes choices that are not communicated.

Marriage ideally is a total communication merger in all aspects of life such
that there are no secrets or the need for them. Choosing a marriage of
individuality with out submitting to the other is at best a ‘rocky
relationship’ doomed to a marriage of ‘questionable practicality’ without
the evolvement of an ‘us’. Love is always excited to see the other. Love
seeks the highest of choices with the others feelings uppermost in
consideration.

It’s very rare to see a marriage where two people’s internal thinking and
heart are not that different regardless of their protests. I can think of
the many dysfunctional couples I’ve encountered (of course they appear so to
me at least) and although they may have different expressions of abhorrent
behaviors, to the outsider, they complement each other far more than a real
close up would reveal. Marriage seems to be the
‘karma’ for what and who you are in terms of self love or, lack thereof.
Couples are clever at covering up their dysfunction to the outsider but upon
close observation the surprising ‘flaws’ are hidden just under the surface.

Find someone who loves themselves in a healthy way with all the
characteristics of that, and if you’re in the same position, you are truly
blessed to know each other! Miracles are possible! Couples getting married
should attend classes on how to make a marriage work as well as how to end
it, if chosen, in a friendly, responsible, harmonious way.

Arhata Osho